Darrin Godin: Donna, it's so great to have you on the podcast today. We're excited to have you and get to chat with you today.
Donna McNutt: So great to be here chatting with you too, Darrin.
Darrin Godin: And for those of you who are new to our podcast, I'm Darrin Godin and you're listening to The Talking Hope podcast from City of Hope Orange County. Donna is one of our grateful patients. Donna, you have a tremendous following on Instagram. I just was checking it out more than 6,000 followers and you're known as the Cancer Fashionista, and it's not where you only show the great outfits that you're wearing, but you also share some really inspirational messages and a more about your story and your journey. So, we're going to get into that today. But will you tell us a little bit about your current cancer journey and what's going on?
Donna McNutt: I'll, well, let me tell you, Darrin, that in 2015 I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, which is an incurable, bone marrow blood cancer. I have had many different forms of treatment over this past eight years under City of Hope, and I've had a stem cell transplant, CAR T therapy, and I am currently, still in treatment, you know, battling my cancer.
Darrin Godin: Hmm. And how did you first find out that you had that cancer?
Donna McNutt: Well, you know, I want to tell you that every one of us, multiple myeloma patients, we all begin our journey differently. I have not met one of us yet that has the exact same story. We have a different immune, you know, all different things. So mine was a train wreck. I had broken bones failing kidneys. I ended up in the hospital not knowing that an oncologist would be walking in, you know, a few days later to tell me, we found that you have 85%, cancer in your body, and you have 20% kidney function right now. And you know, Darrin, I'll be honest, I didn't have the right mindset. So in some ways, you know, for me, it didn't matter if they were telling me I was an alien at that point. So I have a real heart for patients who are sound mind that go into a doctor's office and here you have cancer. So, you know, there's, there's something to be said, you know, too, that from the very beginning I was so broken that nothing scared me after that, I just wanted to be well.
Darrin Godin: And you found your way to City of Hope. Talk about that.
Donna McNutt: Well, so important to tell almost any patient that asks me, you know, the best advice I could give them. And that is always to find a second opinion. And that would be with someone who is a specialist in your care. And we knew we would not stay in our area. And how lucky we were that an hour away is City of Hope in Duarte from where we live in Laguna Beach. And we had my husband, you know, I was in the hospital for two weeks and he started to Google, you know, and find out and ask, and someone else that he knew his wife that had multiple myeloma could not talk more highly about Dr. Krishnan in City of Hope. And at the same time, the oncologist, my, in my local hospital was corresponding with her to find out how to bring it down. It, it just, all the pieces came. And like I said, you know, from that it was, you have to go into treatment here in Orange County to get that cancer countdown. And I just counted the days down until we walked in those doors.
Darrin Godin: So Donna, you started at the beginning where you said, you talked about mindset and how you, you could have been told you were an alien. Like the, the news coming at you was just overwhelming. Right? Right. How long did it take for you to start to see a shift in where you started to have hope, once you came to City of Hope? Or was it once you were scheduled to come to City of Hope?
Donna McNutt: That Oh my gosh. You know, I truly believe the first moment of hope was I got, I got a schedule, you know, and, and, and I'm going to be going to City of Hope. And, and, and no doubt, you know, I'll be honest, there is an ebb and flow. So I want to go back to, you know, there that that didn't happen, Darrin be for a little bit. Because you have to remember, you know, coming home and then being in that fog, I started to, I googled my own cancer. My children could Google my cancer. There were periods that were full. And, and this is where I'm hoping to support other patients of, of a mourning process that maybe I didn't even allot myself to have because of being so broken in the beginning. So definitely that hope came in small stages. But the moment I knew I was going in for a stem cell transplant, the moment I knew that Dr. Krishnan said, I'm getting that for you, that hope. And I think I had been past the worst fear of a broken body and so close to, you know, something so serious that it felt like I was getting a, a golden ticket. And so the hope, you know, oh my gosh. And just, you know, it, it just built up and yeah.
Darrin Godin: So, so talk about the others that were around you helping build that hope.
Donna McNutt: Have, you know, I'll be honest, I did that myself. <laugh>
Darrin Godin: <laugh>,
Donna McNutt: I'll be honest. You know, like I said, they could Google, and I think that's even how the whole Cancer Fashionista was born. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> was from the very beginning, I knew that my family and my friends would only know that I was going to be okay. I have parents that are living Darrin, so, you know, sisters, I knew that they would only believe that I was going to be okay. Mom is going to be okay if I continued doing the one thing I've always done with flair my whole life. And that's get dressed. So there is the hope, you know, for the extent, like my concern truly was not so much, it's been about those, closest to me. And that was how that began. And little by little, you know, they saw Mom transform after going to chemo. And, you know, I was doing what they, they saw Mom and I, I was healing.
Donna McNutt: And then pretty soon I was strutting down the hallways of City of Hope, like I was on a runway and not having treatment. And, you know, something happened to me along the way and here it goes, medical staff started talking about my shoes instead of cancer. And that was important to me. Yeah. 'cause everything was about cancer. And then I realized, oh my gosh, you know, I, I didn't climb a mountain. I didn't become an organic chef. I simply kept getting dressed. I have to share this with others. I have to let them know. And as I was healing, I wanted people to know I had not, one example, I had never heard of multiple myeloma. What does that look like after the crash? What does this site, I'm hoping today someone who's starting out can see me and see what this side looks like of this journey. because it's a journey that we're broken numerous times throughout.
Darrin Godin: Donna, it's so, it's so encouraging. And what I really hear you saying is you, you leaned into continuing to live and live the same life that you, you knew and demonstrate that. And, I really hope those that are listed, we'll go and check out your, your Instagram, thank you answer fashionista. because when I was checking it out, I mean, you, you, you're not joking. You, you, when I see you around too, you are, you're, you're, you're so beautiful the way you dress. And you are like, you're on the, the runway of life, if you will. So, I, I found a quote in one of your recent posts mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you said, why not bedazzle the scars of our battles? I say, go for it and be in charge. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, talk about that a little bit more.
Donna McNutt: You know, it's, it's my number one message, and it is to, to however you have to do it. Okay. You don't have to be me. You do not have to be me. And so many times in the cancer journey, you know, we, we, we read these insane articles, you know, and, and all I want you to know is, you know, why not? If you want a tattoo, that scar, you know, there are no more rules. Nothing is as scary as cancer to me in my life. Hmm. So I say, you know, you go for it. I always, I always simply, my message even on Instagram is, you know, this is my shout it from the rooftop message. And it's just to be you. It's to keep that thing you love. And do not let cancer take it. Do it proudly, no matter how small.
Darrin Godin: Oh, that's so great. <laugh>.
Donna McNutt: So, because our, sometimes I have brilliant, brilliant. It doesn't discriminate cancer. I have brilliant humans around me with my cancer. We all are not a medical dictionary. Science was never my strong suit. I lean into them for that. This is my gift. And I know people around me have one too. And it could be simply giving me a smile when I walk into chemo. That patient, that literally waves to me, hi, let me see your shoes today. I mean, that is also an incredible gift. You know, we don't have to, it doesn't have to be huge, Darrin. And that's the biggest thing too, you know, that I really want to share with other people. I'm simply getting dressed. I'm doing something I've always done. Yet look at this purpose I have now in simply doing that. Yeah.
Darrin Godin: Yeah. So Donna, you, you shared the, even before we got started today with the recording that you just had, you just had treatment today. So you've got your own things you're going through today. <laugh> here, you're yesterday.
Donna McNutt: Yesterday.
Darrin Godin: Yeah. Yesterday. You're, you're on the podcast today. You're sharing the great news that you're sharing. I imagine there's been some people along the way that have really been impacted by you sharing your story. Can you tell me oh instance of that, where it's really made a difference for someone?
Donna McNutt: You know, I am so honored to, to, to have people constantly DM me. The one thing I will say, and I was never on Instagram before, but I will tell you I really understand the engagement of Instagram. And I have 6,000 really engaged humans who will tell me the best thing. I wore lipstick, I wore red lipstick today. I feel so honored to be an inspiration to anyone. But at the same time, Darrin, they inspire me because I now have a responsibility to get dressed. Hmm. And there are days I don't want to do that. And I think in the back of my head, no, I'm going to, I am going to do it and I'm going to, you know, my husband is what, who I call the hubbyrazzi. He takes my picture. He has taken a pictorial of my entire cancer journey, broken in the hospital.
Donna McNutt: Because I've never worn a hospital gown. He has taken a pictorial. So he gets to see me too, on the best part of my day. And that's another thing, when you go on my Instagram, this is the best part of my day. What your thing is maybe last five minutes of your day. Okay? I'm only showing you, I'm not filtering it. I'm not sponsored by anyone. These are my clothes. This is really me. It's authentic. But this isn't me all day long. This is the best part that I won't let cancer take. Okay. That all comes off. That all comes off
Darrin Godin: <laugh>. Yeah. <laugh>. And that's, that's a great message right there, right? Like, yeah, yeah. Yep. Let's, let's celebrate and, and let's stand for the things we're not going to, that's take
Donna McNutt: That five minutes, that one hour, whatever you are thing is, boy, that fills me up.
Darrin Godin: Yeah. As a, as a parent, I have little ones and I think about, gosh, I'm going to want them to be on social media. But, um, it's things like this where I, I, I'm reminded that mm-hmm. <affirmative>, the tools can be perverted anywhere. Right. But they can be also be used for such great, good and credible. I I really do think you're doing a great service. So thank you. Um, what has your experience been like with supportive care type, um, things, physical therapy, rehabilitation, those sort of things? I know you have a story to tell there as
Donna McNutt: Well. Oh, Darrin, I do. You know, I have been at this for eight years. Um, and there's never been, you know, a supportive care that there has, like there is now at <inaudible>, especially in the new, um, orange County campus. Yeah. And I have been, so lucky to have sat next to Dr. Richard Lee, who I adore his passion for alternative medicine. We did, we were at the same, event, speaking. And I always thought, oh, I, I need to get to see him. And <laugh> nothing about me fit yet, but I tell him, put me in a trial. I'll, I'll sniff lavender anything because wow. Why is this piece not available? You know? Um, and four months ago, I had a very bad scenario happen that really set me back. And I was in a lot of pain. And so it was my opportunity to get in touch with Dr.
Donna McNutt: Lee. I might've for the very first time, said, will you tell him it's Donna, the cancer, fashionista <laugh>. I need to get in <laugh>. I'm going to pull the one string I ever have in eight years. Because I love this man. And from there, Dr. Lee, set me up with, Dr. Jessica Cheng, who was incredible in organizing for me the best routine, the best physical therapy that was going to help heal my body. And for the first time we weren't talking medicine. Hmm. You know, and I am so lucky that I believe I have the best physical therapist, um, that is Shui Yu and she has magic hands and she's always booked <laugh>. But I book really far ahead. And the thing Shui has done for me is that she has helped me to reconnect my mind and my body. And I don't know that that's happened for a very long time, meaning there's parts that hurt so much sometimes, but the whole of me, and then thinking in my head, I have control of my neuropathy in my feet.
Donna McNutt: Hmm. And the thing that I love is, I will tell you that probably in the past, if I ever in my old life was ever sent to physical therapy, I did terrible on those sheets. You know, they hand you all those sheath and you're going home and you're like, ah, I can't do all these shui has been so incredible in explaining those to me, going over them again during every appointment. You can get a video of this, but they're also, you know, so anyone can do them. I mean, I'm picking marbles up with my toes. Okay. <laugh>. <laugh>. And look, oh my God, if I, my mind is even connected with my neuropathy, you know, feet in so long that Oh my gosh. I mean, yes. I have, I will, you know, scream it out. This is such an enormous part. I think that should be a part of anyone's journey.
Darrin Godin: Awesome.
Donna McNutt: With the Thank you.
Darrin Godin: Thank you. So, um, gosh, you answered one of my questions already with your shout from the rooftop message. No, I know.
Donna McNutt: I'm shout,
Darrin Godin: I don’t know if you listen to the podcast or not, but I usually like to try to ask that. Um, so let me ask you this question though. Um, what does hope or the concept of hope really mean to you? Donna?
Donna McNutt: You know, Darrin, I thought about this so much when, um, I saw that question and I've seen it many times, and maybe I've even answered it differently. But today I really reflected on that. And, you know, I'm not sure I really understood what hope was and what it meant until I had cancer. And when I walked into City of Hope and into my first appointment with Dr. Krishnan, I learned the definition.
Darrin Godin: Hmm.
Donna McNutt: It was the very first time I think, in my life, I really understood, wow, this is hope. I had, I, this is hope, this is, I walked out of there and I have never doubted, looked back, believed there could be any more out there than the hope I receive every bump, every scenario along the way. Somehow when the tank of Hope needs to be refilled. There's some new treatment. There's something that is being offered to me and I just can't thank my medical team, all of you who have showed me that definition. And it started with my oncologist and that was not the experience I had in the beginning with my oncologist. So I know the definition now, and you can see it in me, and I will tell anyone about City of Hope and the name is perfect. And they're not kidding. It's a city full of hope. <laugh>.
Darrin Godin: Well, I, I, um, I think my definition has changed over time as well.
Donna McNutt: Yes.
Darrin Godin: And I think, as I said earlier, being able to cha chat with patients like you, that's really, I mean, you were my definition of hope. I mean, what a, what a wonderful person you are. And, while you're still on your journey and still going through the battles, bedazzling yourself, <laugh> not just for yourself, but for those around you and for the world to, to, to continue to give others hope. That there's no truer definition than that. So, thank you for, for doing that.
Donna McNutt: Thank
Darrin Godin: You, Donna. I'm so, so happy that you were able to join us today on the podcast. And, thank you for taking your time and I know you're, looking forward to getting some rest. And I hope you have a great weekend. And for all of you listening, I just want to thank, thanks for joining us today for Talking Hope, and we hope that you'll join us on our next podcast.